WHAT MAKES BRITAIN GREAT #58 PLAYFULNESS AND TOLERANCE.
This mad website reviews biscuits.
If like EVERYBODY, you like a nice sit down, with a drink and maybe something to nibble, then this site is for you.
I think that includes everybody, be it cold green tea and sushi, or chai and dosa, or PGTips and a HobNob, or filter coffee and a Lotus.
My favourite biscuit, as Lola says’ my favourite and my best’ is the Lotus biscuit. It is my madeleine.
As a writer, I once bought some madeleines to see if they would inspire me, like what they did that Proust bloke.
This quintessentially British website reviews biscuits.
Pure British genius.
Our gift to the world.
Yes, as Clarkson says, we invented bridges and canals and stuff, but that’s not what makes Britons great.
You see, EDL and BNP, pay attention at the back, Britons includes the British chefs who invented Chicken Tikka Masala, and exported it to India. they weren’t from round here but they are more British than you because they are tolerant and quirky.
There you have it. Britons contribute two things to the world.
Italy gave us lovemaking and nice suits. (And Monica Belluci)
The French gave us rubbish pop music and cheese.
The Indians gave us Buddhism (didn’t they? ) and sag aloo.
Mmmm, saaag aloooo….
Name a country, I have a stereotypical contribution.
Controversial one: who gave us salt beef beigels at 2am? When you’ve decided, I’ ll make up a stereotype about them.
Britain gave the world quirky inventions and tolerance.
We didn’t, Clarkson, look at me boy, we didn’t, give the world engineering. We didn’t. Americans, and Germans and Japanese and now Koreans and the Chinese gave us engineering.
Steve Jobs, bless his CPU, gave us tiny shiny things to annoy you on the tube with, and black roll necks. Or was that graphic designers?
What we did,
What we did, us Brits, was invent quirky stuff, and tolerance.
Clarkson, you are guilty of not being British. I banish you to a right-wing shock-jock radio station in the Mid-Western USA.
The British invented playfulness. You can call it invention, or eccentricity, or quirkyness, or creativity, I call it playfulness.
Play-full-ness. The British thing. Being daft. Being full of play. Playfulness.
Give me a million pounds and I’ll setup IPFN:
The Institute of PlayFulNess.
How did we do it?
Without tolerance you can’t be daft. If you can’t be daft you can’t be quirky. If you can’t be quirky you aren’t playing, and if you aren’t playing and you can’t invent.
Without tolerance you can’t be inventive.
We gave the world two things:
TOLERANCE AND PLAYFULNESS.
TOLERANCE AND PLAYFULNESS.
Are you listening, Clarkson, 2 things. not just playfulness, not just daft jokes about caravans and strikers, tolerance as well.
What a shame that we have an intolerant and playfulness- hating government, some of whom are his mates.
WHAT A SHAME THAT WE HAVE AN INTOLERANT AND PLAYFULNESS- HATING GOVERNMENT.
I only sat down to write an intro to a daft website. I just made myself proud to be British, dammit. (Wipes tear from eye.)
Laydees an’ Gennelmen, I gives you:
”A couple of years back when asked to take part in a Channel 4 program about the KitKat when it was at the peak of its derivative product madness, I was asked to speculate what they might do with it next. On the spur of the moment I said ‘some kind of spread that you could put on your toast’. I was fairly pleased with that, but I really honestly didn’t think that some crazed biscuit doctors would ever make this leap. If they did I was also mainly expecting it to be in a squirty tube a bit like Primula Cheese spread and not a really quite big jar.
Belgian biscuit baker Lotus well known for their Caramalised Biscuits and Speculoos has found a way turning biscuits into a spread. This seems to be grinding them up with some vegetable oil, sugar and emulsifier much in the way peanuts might find themselves ending up in peanut butter. The upshot of this is that it tastes almost exactly like Speculoos, just is peanut butter tastes just like peanuts.
Beyond breakfast I can see this new technology being put use in two important areas. The first as new form of biscuit adhesive for making advanced types of birthday cakes. In fact I reckon you could pull off a half decent Jabba the Hut’s sail barge sticking on the window shutters with a jar of this stuff. The second and perhaps more obvious use is in the manned exploration of Mars. Biscuit crumbs in zero G during the 3 year round trip could prove quite a problem scuppering the no doubt endless opportunities for a nice float around and a cup of tea presented by 18 months in space. Lumps of this should be much better behaved in space. Demand in Belgium for the product has been overwhelming, and if there is any of it spare Lotus UK will try and bring it to our supermarkets.“