Help ! My clotted cream is talking to me!

Help ! My clotted cream is talking to me!

It is giving me a list of other things it likes, besides scones.

The words around its fat bottom say: ‘perfect with puds’.

I’ll be the judge of that, you short-arsed tub of fat.

I don’t want my clotted cream to strike up a conversation with me,  like some random stranger in a bar.

(I think it’s called opening a brand conversation. If I want inane conversation I will go for a haircut.)

Two brands of clotted cream
on a shelf,
and  I shall take the one less talkative.

………………………..{Apologies to Roddas Frost}


This bit is only here to establish a tenuous link to a management issue. This brand conversation thing long since escaped the narrow basket of FMCG and spread like nettles across the verdant stripy lawns of consultancy.

Men say they like skinny women, but research shows that most don’t.

Prospective clients seem to like jolly chatty consultancy websites…


Who do they actually hire?


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